Laughter is the Best Medicine

found some funny jokes on Web and share with u all...

Young Business Man
A young businessman had just started his own business. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it brilliantly decorated.

Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he was working a big deal. He was shouting huge figures and made giant commitments.

Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I'm here to install the phone!"

FBI
The phone rings at FBI headquarters.

"Hello?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."

"Thank you very much for the call sir," replied the dispatcher.

The next day, FBI agents sneak up on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They yell at the neighbor and leave.

The phone rings at the neighbor's house.

"Hey, Bill, did the FBI come?"

"Sure Did!"

"Did they chop your firewood?!"

"Yep!"

"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed!!"

Alphabet
Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?"

The teacher says, "Yes, but only after you recite the alphabet Johnny."

Little Johnny says, "Fine" and quickly babbles out: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO_QRSTUVWXYZ!!!"

The teacher asks, "Where is the P?"

Johnny screams, "IT'S RUNNING DOWN MY LEG!!! PLEASE LET ME GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!"

Life and Computers
If Life Were Like A Computer:

• You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.
• You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!
• You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.
• You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.
• You could click on "find" (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.
• To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
• If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!

Programmer and the Frog
A programmer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The programmer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want." Again the programmer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The programmer said, "Look, I'm a programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend -- but a talking frog, now that's cool!"

Jokes of the Day

胖妞与男友去吃麦当劳，胖妞说：“我要一个鱼柳包，两个鸡肉包，三个芝士汉堡包，还要一杯大可乐。” 男友说：“要不要薯条？” 胖妞说：“不要！薯条会发胖，我要减肥。”

Relax & Laugh

一名小学老师正在发考卷，喊了很多次“林蛋大，林蛋大”，都没有小朋友来拿考卷。

到最后，老师说：“还有哪位小朋友还没有拿到考卷的，请上前来。”

只见一位小男生很委屈地走到老师面前说：“老师，我不叫林蛋大，我叫楚中天！”